Friday, January 14, 2011

Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Adult version

Those who know this story would know that Goldilocks went into a house in the forest, sat on three chairs, tried 3 bowls of porridge before finishing a bowl whose temperature is just right, and then took a nap on a bed right for her size. The bear family came home to discover that there was an intruder in their house. They found her in the bedroom; she woke up, and ran away unharmed.

What was most conveniently skipped from the story is the part between Goldilocks waking up and her running away. You see, Goldilocks was no fool. She had been reading a lot of self-help books, and had frequently counsel her friends. For example, she helped Jack and Jill to deal with nightmares and successfully pointed out that their tumbling down a hill was the cause. She had also lent her ears to Hansel and Gratel who had a big issue of abandonment. So, she had quite a bit of experience under her sleeve.

When she was woken up by Papa Bear's growling, Goldilocks sat up straight and tried to remain calm. She collected her thoughts while she was grilled about the chairs, and the porridge bowls. After giving her answers, she politely asked Baby Bear.

"Now, can you answer this: why do Papa Bear and Mummy Bear sleep in different beds?"

Baby Bear was startled, to say the least, by this unexpected question. Mama and Papa bear were clearly taken by surprise by Goldilocks' astute observation of their sleeping arrangement. Their anger over the intrusion quickly dissipated and was replaced by nervous glances.

"That's the way it is. It has always been like that," said Baby Bear meekly; which is an acceptable answer because Baby Bear never read anything like Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus. The

"No dear. I think you better go downstairs. Your parents and I have something to talk about," said Goldilocks confidently and motioned Baby Bear to the door. When the door was closed, Goldilocks began to talk earnestly with the bear couple. There was initially some denial and resistance from Papa Bear. But Goldilocks was quite an expert to get people talking, because she had read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Emotional Intelligence.

She empathised and paraphrased to understand Mama Bear. The floodgate soon opened; both Mama Bear and Papa Bear became active participants in the impromptu couple's counselling. It was soon became evident that Mama Bear was fearful that she would get pregnant again. Apparently, Baby Bear's birth was a difficult one and very traumatising for her. Papa Bear was not by her side when it happened. He was away on a fishing trip with his silly little cousin, a little bear with a red shirt and no pants; but that is another story. Papa Bear discovered that he feels guilty about this, so he did not object to the Mama Bear's suggestion of sleeping in different bed.


"Thank you Goldilocks," said Mama Bear and Papa Bear with teary eyes.

"It's a pleasure," replied Goldilocks. She recommended some books for them to read, and also some useful websites.

Papa Bear walked her to the door, and smiled as he waved good bye. When the door was closed, Goldilocks ran as fast as she could towards her house. Was she afraid of the bear? No. It was the porridge. She was in a rush to get to the loo and she was pleased that the Bears managed to find a resolution quickly.

'Maybe I should add Delia Smith and Jamie Oliver to their reading list', thought Goldilocks to herself as drew nearer to her house.

The End.

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