Thursday, March 29, 2007

You see me looking up because I'm praying for strength, to pick you up and help you to stand tall.
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Moga kau terus dapat berteduh di bawah redupku. Dan moga aku melebarkan rendang, meluarkan ruang selesamu.
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Sometimes, you need to believe that you are bigger than some people.
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Renangan



Berikan aku ruang untuk berenang menghampirimu

Friday, March 16, 2007

a conclusion

Alhamdulillah.. another semester of teaching has concluded. And, fortunately, today is also the end of a week that had seen me infuriorated by students. The phrase "kepala hotak kamu" was uttered loudly and silently so many times that I lost count.

This was a semester that .....
I taught two courses: one a repeat from previous semesters, another a new course.
I learned many new things by teaching a new course.
I was sick more than usual.
I dealt with immature mature students and mature immature students.
I barred three students from the final examination.
I did not show care for students who showed lack of interest or were sleeping in class or both.
I forced students in two class to write my full name 100 times.
I got two students who scored 58/60 in an exam - twice!
I got an email (from a student?) to express his/her concern for my health (see.. I told you I was sick more than usual).
I got angry at one student in the class room... in front of others. Kepala hotak kamu! (I marvel at the new level of stupidity and rudeness that I saw this semester)

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Reconnection

To have a mania episode in the morning is rare nowadays. And on the day that I felt physically weak, the manic-inducing event is greatly appreciated.

On the previous day, I shoot an email, not fully knowing the receiver is the correct person. I don't even know he's in alam dun-ya or barzakh. So, the next morning, I wasn't expecting much when I opened my email account. But, alhamdulillah, he replied. And it really was HIM.
It has been, like, 15 years since we last met. Well... we met only that one time. But we have kept in contact up to undergrad times. However, since graduation, we didn't keep up with writing to each other. Unbeknownst to me, he also tried to contact me when I was in Sabah. As he put it, 'lady luck' wasn't on our side that time.

Alhamdulillah, I managed to reconnect with a long lost friend. I pray that his return into my life is a blessing. He did cheered me up with his jovial email. I'm a bit nervous though. At the time of writing this post, I haven't phoned him.

He's special in a way. He had showed positive unconditional regard once. So, may be I'm 'craving' that acceptance once again, in times when I'm facing a big acceptance/rejection possibilities. All in all, it's good to be reconnected.

A Better Billboard Top 10

Here's a list of pumped up, more correct, and healthier and better music/singing groups for you.

1) Smashing GMO Pumpkin
2) Organic Black-eyed Pea
3) Ten Inch Nails
4) My ISO-9000:2000-Certified Chemical Romance
5) Filtered & Ionized Air Supply
6) The Perpetually-Rolling Stone
7) Eminem feat. Ustaz Asri (Rabbani)
8) Red Mildly-Hot Chili Peppers
9) Carrie Overwood
10) Deep Pink

Any other that you want to add to the list?

Runny day

Today is one of those days that i wish I'm at home, resting on bed, sipping a hot lemon tea.
I'm using up the tissue paper so fast today I may deplete a forest soon. My nose is runny and itchy. My eyes are also itchy. But, fortunately, my finger are also itch to update the blog. Hehehh... As people say... when life throws you a lemon, make a lemonade. Or, in my case, make a lemon tea. Have a hot one.